Calm down, self

I’m so excited.  I am in a tizzy.  I suppose leading the secluded life I do makes it easy to overstimulate my brain or endocrine system.  I think that’s the right system, but I can’t stop now to find out.  Let’s investigate the sources of the tizzifying.

1.  I saw Star Trek yesterday at the Imax theater at Lincoln Center.  It was loud, exciting, and occasionally frightening.  At the end of the movie I was barely able to sit in my seat, plus I was very worked up over the issues of time travel involved in the plotline–I think I will agree with Captain Janeway when she says that she wants to avoid the whole headache and paradox of time travel.  Oh–is that dorky?

2.  I am in the process of putting together a new website.  The process is killing me with anticipation, involving as it does the completion of thousands of tiny craft projects into one compendium of cuteness, I mean I hope it’s cute.  Usually the achievement of cuteness is painful but comes in smaller chunks.  This is destroying my corpuscles.

3.  We are having a lot of visitors this week.  One, two, three, four.  That’s a lot of booze and conversation.  Tizzy.

4.  My husband took the day off work yesterday and we got the kids their passports.  The prospect of traveling with them overseas is making my heart race.

5.  After the passport-getting, husband and self went to New York and had some drinks and did other things.  In my advanced age alcohol has the effect of making me not sleep all night, even though I drank it at lunch and in moderate quantities, sigh.

6.  In addition to putting together the website, I also have the following projects that I need, desperately need, reader, to finish/start:

a.  Large hairy cat doll

b.  Grocery truck

c.  Mopey tattooed panda bear!!! Damn why can’t I finish the mopey panda bear!

7.  There is also a list of eighty other projects I want to make.

8.  Was I in the process of writing a novel?

9.  I missed the parent-teacher meeting I was supposed to go to Monday morning so I have to try to not forget it next time, whenever that is.

10.  I still have a lot of tv shows to catch up on.  This is too much for a body to handle, reader!

Finally, I will share with you a story.  A few years ago I went to Home Depot with my dad.  Were you there too, reader, or have I told you this story so many times that I am only imagining you were in it?  Anyway, we were waiting in line to check out, and the person in front of us was taking forever.  There is not that much to look at while standing behind someone in the checkout line at Home Depot, and Dad was in a reverie staring at inter-dimensional space, as was his wont.  So I spent the minutes also staring and eventually realized that I was looking at a big red push button.  There was a pole reaching from floor to ceiling next to me and sticking out of it was a red button of the kind that you would use to launch an atomic bomb, eject yourself from a fighter jet, or open a trapdoor into a pit.  There was no label or anything at all written around it–just a bare pole with that big red button.  So I pushed it.  A light began flashing blue and white way up by the ceiling and a siren started wailing BONK–BONK–BONK.  It was very surprising for a sensitive person like myself and I almost fainted with mortification, although I was also indignant that there was nothing saying “Customers, don’t push this button” etc.  So the checkout lady ambled over with a kind of suppressed groan and switched the siren and light off, and ambled back to her job of fussing interminably with the cash register.

Dad woke up out of his reverie and looked at me.

“Sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said.  “What red-blooded American girl wouldn’t have pushed that button?”

That is all for now.

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